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Empowered Women Of Achievement Award 2012

2011-11-16T10:01:00.009+08:00

This photo was added to the cover of Vanity
magazine along with the other Awardee.
Photoshop is an amazing tool. They placed
all of us to look like we were all in the photo
shoot together.

I feel truly honored to have been of of a select group of women chosen to receive the Empowered Women Of Achievement Award 2012. The event is organized by an independent group of Filipino artists and fashion designers. The first gown designed for me, sight unseen, was truly remarkable. But then you be the judge.

Photos taken by Toné McGuire. He made the photo shoot so fun and brought out the best in me. It's so different to work with a photographer who gives you feedback and direction.

Hair and makeup by David's Salon on Rizal Ave., Puerto Princesa City, gown by Goullee Gorospe, location: Hotel Centro, PPC, Palawan.

Click any photo on this page to enlarge.

There will be an actual Award Dinner this coming Dec. 15th in Manila. I am hoping I can re-arrange my schedule so that we can attend!
Many thanks to the panel of judges for choosing me along with all the other remarkable women on the magazine cover, who I am looking forward to meeting!

What is amusing to me is my placement on the magazine cover. I am probably the shortest lady there at 4'10" ! The gown was at least a foot too long. I am actually standing on the stair above the bottom of the skirt. Postulating that my legs were on the lower step, it would truly seem to the viewer that I must be a long legged gal. It just goes to show you not to always believe what you see. I am thrilled about it, as for once in my life, I see what I might have looked like taller.

The occassion of me being invited was through Facebook initially, then through cell texting. I have not yet met the organizer nor the designers! They asked for my measurements and designed the beautiful gown around that. It was then sent by overnight courier from Manila to me, where I live on beautiful the island of Palawan.

Cleavage courtesy of Nubra adhesive,
strapless bra cups!

Although the gown was so clasic with the tulip skirt, it was actually about 4 inches too tight in the back and wouldn't even begin to close. My 86 year old angelic mother, sewed ribbons on the back so that they could be tied to keep the top from falling off me.

Thanks mom, what would I do without you? And while I am on mom, I wouldn't be the woman (a senior citizen now at that) I am today without her. Her loving support all my life gave me the strength I needed when I was feeling in the depths of despair. The fact is, that I have stellar parents without whom none of this would be possible. They have been my pillar of strength, inspirations, my heroes. It is remarkable to grow old with both parents and I am eternally grateful.

It has not always been an easy road to follow, learning online e-commerce, as well as trying to learn new sustainable ways to re-use, reycle, harvest rain and eventually grow our own vegetables in our personal lives. Since we live in the countryside now, with a nice slice of Mother earth to tend to and nurture, I am excited about learning to grow vegetables in a controlled greenhouse using aeropinic and vertical growing techniques. We are already supplying night lights via solar charged batteries and are starting to harvest rain to preserve the well water so as not to drain it. The island of Cebu has been a big lesson to me in preserving water, as they already import most of their potable water since their watersheds have not been properly managed.

Our temporary loft apartment above
our workshop. One of these days we will
get the energy to build the master
cottage. In the meantime, rest, relax
and enjoy the clean air and
ubiquitous green vegetation
everywhere I look.

I never tire of learning new things and I hope that more people will always be curious about our world and try to nurture and sustain it in their way as well. It is a beautiful mother, our Earth and we each must do what we can to preserve it's natural beauty for our children to enjoy and the generations after them. Each of us is responsible for the dire conditions our poor earth is in.

It's so fun to be able to play dress up. Living in the countryside as I do, most of the time it's practical clothing, cool and comfortable and not glamorous at all. Yet fun as it is, I so adore my bohemian lifestyle now in our native abode on this gorgeous, pristine island of Palawan.

Empowered Women of Achievement Awards in Philippine National Inquirer Lifestyle section Dec 9, 2011

Blogging Away

2011-11-04T11:19:00.013+08:00

My blogging headquarters for now.

Luzviminda, Puerto Princesa, Palawan, Philippines

Here I sit with hair still wet from just having had a nice refreshing shower, blogging away.

After a lot of work on both our parts, Dave and I finally have built a cozy place together. I am sitting here on my cogon thatched roof native deck, happier than I have been in, well I just can't remember, except perhaps the time I had another farm in high up in the mountains and far away Montague, California in the early 80's. From the cool clean alpine abode in Northern California, and miles away from my desert home in Tucson, Arizona, I have finally landed where I want to be. Back in my native Philippines. Where I was born and raised till it mattered.

Our adopted stray kitten Ming Ming,
AKA Ms. Stinky butt.

Though not in my hometown of Batangas, I feel very at home here in little, sleepy Luzviminda.

I am feeling so happy, content, blessed and grateful. It's so good that I want to pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming. Even though there is a whole palate of landscaping to do, herb gardens to sow, I feel no dire urgency, only the lovely tingle of anticipation of how things can be with our combined efforts and those of our fabulous staff.

Our mini Chihuahua. The name he came
with is larger that he is, Shakespeare, and
Ming Ming the newly adopted stray kitten.

Now I am sitting here waiting for our guests to arrive for lunch. Dave just set out driving to the Mangingisda Pier to pick them up. There's a bangka ferry coming and going till 5pm from Baywalk in City center to Mangingisda! No need for guests to drive here! The ferry only takes between 20 to 35 minutes depending on the water conditions. Then it's just a 5 minute drive in the car to pick them up.

When they pave the road all the way to the pier we will be able to take our electric Trikes there and back! What a joy that will be.

Slivers of carrots, jicama,
cucumbers, thai basil in a pureed
red pepper, olive oil, garlic and lime
dressing. It doesn't look that great,
ut it was tasty!

I made Chicken Picatta, slices of potatoes baked in olive oil and dill weed, a salad of thinly sliced carrots, jicama and crisp cucumber (thanks to friends at Bahay Kalipay who brought them for lunch the day before), with a fresh sweet bell papper, mustard, lime and olive oil dressing. I can't wait for them to get here so I can dig my chops into the Chicken Picatta which is one of my favorite meals.

Side of mung bean sprouts and okra tortas

Eveyone was so hungry when they arrived, I put out the Chicken Picatta and it was wolfed down before I could get a photo. It was very tasty indeed. I also made a side dish of mung bean sprouts and okra tortas.

A good time was had by all. It has been so wonderful to be able to relax and enjoy the company of new and old friends and family. Already one of my very close cousins has already come and "camped" with us! We've had more company here than over the whole year or two and it's out of town and a bit of a trek. With the holidays coming soon we are in a festive mood. And to think, we have just been here 1 month!

Alysha wanted to be a kitty cat
for halloween.

I think it's a wonderful place for Alysha our soon to be 4 year old daugher In fact it's 11/11/2011! What an auspicious date! Speaking of her, it's time for me to put her to bed and hang out with her before she slips into the dreams of childhood.

Here are some scenes of my surroundings. Clicking any photo on this page will bring them up in a new window much larger.

Shower, original eating area. The decorative
banana plants have more than tripled in 6 months. The rear
right roofs are our cogon thatched roof deck and thatched covered
stairs.

Akapulko blossoms and shrub tree. The leaves and flowers
are both used as treatments for skin rashes, insect bites etc.

Christmas wreath in November. The cogon thatched roof of my
deck and blog spot for now until we build the main house
when we recover from building this.

Life in Luzvviminda, Palawan

2011-11-02T13:16:00.012+08:00

Our loft apartment above the barn/workshop/
kitchen/shower commode area downstairs.
I feel like I am living in one of Tarzan's lairs.
So indoor outdoorsy....I'm listening to and
watching the rain fall outside the deck.

Wow, as of September 21 we started staying out on our land in our loft apartment above the barn/workshop/kitchen area. It's in Luzviminda, Puerto Princesa, Palawan, Philippines! Whew!

It's quite a switch from our elegant Subic Freeport digs. It's sort of my tree house, although not built in the trees, we are at tree level when looking outside. A wall of green surrounds me, so peaceful, quiet and so very relaxing to live here.

It all started as a huge barn to house the materials we needed for the master bedroom cottage we were initially going to build. We didn't want the building materials exposed to the weather while gathering supplies so we built this huge tin covered barn. Building materials aren't always easy to get out here.

The upper storage deck wound up so tall and large that we both measured for height and made a apartment above the barn to live in without waiting to build the main house or master cottage we wanted.

Our bedroom. Up at the tree line
overlooking th bamboo grove and
young coconut trees. (CLICK TO
ENLARGE)

I am so happy. I feel like I am camping wthout the discomfort. Thanks to my hubby Dave's amazing array of handyman, IT, hi tech skills, we have Solar lighting all over the property, Satelite TV, aircon in our bedroom, internet, and every other appliance in a modern kitchen you would need.

We have one room that is our bedroom which is finished in simple materials where we can escape to if it gets too hot and turn on the aircon wherein I had a commode built so I wouldn't have to trek downstairss to the loo! A separate sink inside the bedroom allows someone to us the bathroom and someone else can brush their teeth without interferin with the other.

One of the many yummy meals at the "farm".

We call it living at the farm, or "we are heading to the farm" although we don't really grow much of anything yet. We do have a slew of chickens which we are letting breed so eventually we will have our own eggs.
We have begun to harvest the rain because the water wells out here run dry awfully fast it seems. We also use water from our own creek to water the flowering plants, orchids and miscelaneous citrus, coffee and other fruiting trees.

Our little daughter will be turning 4 years old on 11-11-2011 this year. What an auspicious date, and what a lovely plae to spend it at! Being 4 she wants to have it at the "farm" with nanny's kids and the children the other workers, but of course, she wants Shakey's Pizza or Jollibee chicken to be served.

Click to photo to enlarge.

Alysha wanted to be a cat on Halloween so I painted her up as best I could. What a great childhood she is having with nature so close by.

We took her to a waterfalls yesterday with nanny's kids and a couple of friends with their toddler. What a surprise that journey was. We caught a fleeting sight of a huge Monitor Lizard and two troops of monkeys, as well as many little streamlets along the way.

When we got to the falls, what a wonderous suprise that was as well. So beautiful. It was a rainy drizzly day so it wasn't warm enough for me to dive in, but we will be going back to Salakot Waterals in Napsan, Palawan.

Salakot Waterfalls, Napsan, Palawan, Philippines
I loved the beautiful rain forest plants. Huge tree ferns dotted
the hillsides. CLICK PHOTO TO ENLARGE

Approximately 4 KMS from our place is the Mangingisda fish port, though it's not much to speak of, there are Bangkas that go to and from there to the Bay Walk in Puerto Princesa City proper. You can't beat the price at 35.00 PhP per person 1 way.

Mangingisda Pier

If you get there early in the morning and sometimes in the late afternoon towards sunset, you can buy fresh caught fish from the local fishermen.

But then I get ahead of myself. I was talking about living at the farm and so here are more shots around and about.

My native living room deck, showing stairs and my little
toy chihuahua and Ming Ming the stray kitten we took in.

We do have all the comforts like flat screen TV. With Dave around, every
comfort is available. Solar lighting, internet, hot showers; on and on it
goes. The man is the handiest person I know.

Decorative bamboo was just two tiny little
plants in pots. This is 6 months growth since
we planted them in the ground!

Thanks to Dave, we drive electric tricycles. This is my cousin Alex
Limjoco, Sr. who came to visit us and drove around with us on the etrike.

My desk right side of deck over looking the trees. (dark wood)

My native open kitchen with all the appliances I need! That's my 86 year old mom Helen cooking up some breakfast for my 92 year old dad Ramon. She drives the 30 kms. here 30 kms and back. That woman is amazing.

The lower tin roof is our barn area, and the upper roof is our bedroom. At the end is our cogon covered thathed roof and bamboo floor deck. The small hut in front is the first hut we build from our own bamboo groves and houses a pump for the water well a large shower area and a long dining area outside.

If you are a city person, don't move to Luzviminda, Palawan! There are no restaurants, and only little Sari Sari stores here and there where you can get staples like rice, soy sauce, vinegar etc! However, since we are a self contained village, in that we enjoy each others' company and like planting things and exploring nature, this is a perfect Haven for us!

Yummy fresh lobster from the San Jose Public Market

Rediscovering Kahlil Gibran

2010-12-04T16:27:00.005+08:00

Gubran Kahlil Gubran 1883 - 1931

The book, The Prophet came to me in about 1963 when I was an early teen and it helped me get through the rough spots and when I was in need of some inspiration. It was the only thing I can remember bringing with me to live in San Francisco, California in 1967. When ever I felt overwhelmed I would draw a hot bath, light candles and read The Prophet. This book changed the way I looked at life and helpd mold my character.

Khalil Gibran (born Gubran Khalil Gubran[1] bin Mikhā'īl bin Sa'ad; Arabic, January 3, 1883 – April 10, 1931)
"Also known as Kahlil Gibran, was a Lebanese American artist, poet, and writer. Born in the town of Bsharri in modern-day Lebanon (then part of the Ottoman Mount Lebanon mutasarrifate), as a young man he immigrated with his family to the United States where he studied art and began his literary career. He is chiefly known in the English speaking world for his 1923 book The Prophet, a series of philosophical essays written in English prose. An early example of Inspirational fiction, the book sold well despite a cool critical reception, and became extremely popular in the 1960s counterculture. Gibran is the third best-selling poet of all time, behind Shakespeare and Lao-Tzu." extracted from Wikipedia at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khalil_Gibran

Gibran's many wise passages spoke to and consoled my aching heart or anxious mind.

This is one of too many favorite passages to count:

"Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love." Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931), The Prophet
Or
The Prophet, On Love
"If you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

The Prophet, On Work
Life is indeed darkness save when there is urge,
And all urge is blind save when there is knowledge,
And all knowledge is vain save when there is work,
And all work is empty save when there is love.

This next passage help me heal my wounded spirit:

The Prophet, on Beauty
Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror.

But you are eternity and you are the mirror.

On my Issues with Mortality this passage ease my discomfort:

The Prophet, On Death

Drawing by Kahlil Gibran
and used in book The Prophet

"For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing. And when you have reached the mountain top, then shall you begin to climb. And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance." Kahlil Gibran

Feliz Navidad -Chrismas family Video

2010-11-11T15:17:00.002+08:00

I made this Christmas video on http://www.jibjab.com/ Starring me, our daughter Alysha, Dave and my parents. They have been playing Christmas music in Puerto Princesa since Oct. 1. With just 46 days till Christmas I figured it's ok to get with the spirit.

It's sort of chopped up here...so to view it in full width view it click this link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNicss7iAlY

Images Asia Magazine Aug-Sept. 2010

2010-03-28T09:16:00.027+08:00

I am grateful to have had the opportunity to feature the fine artisans and scenery as backdrops or props for the shots in Puerto Princesa, Palawan.
These were all shot at the end of February 2010 for their April May 2010 Issue. It was a fun 2 day shoot. The city of PPC, through the kindness of Mayor Edward Hagedorn, sent the crew to our most popular tourist spots, and one of the nominees as one of the new 7th New wonders of the World, the Puerto Princesa Underground or subteranean River.

Thanks to the photographers, MJ Cachero who took the magazine issue shots and Voltair Fernandez Domingo for the behind the scenes shots, with all of us under the sound direction of Images Asia Magazine publisher, Ernest Gonzaga.

Diana Limjoco top right and bottom left photo. Shot at Lotus Garden Restaurant and Suites, one of our favorite restaurants, the food is great and the ambiance at night to us, is one of the best in Puerto Princesa. Fine pineapple silk scarf by Rugungan sa Tubod weavers. I'm addicted to their fine scarves and have a collection of them going.

the two left photos were shot at: Shot at Lotus Garden Restaurants & Suites my favorite restaurant for ambiance and food in Puerto.

Fine pineapple silk scarf by Rugungan sa Tubod weavers

Photo on right: Gown by Oskar Peralta

Shot at the Bay Walk in Puerto Princesa by MJ Cachero for Images Asia Magazine

Diwan drummers and fireeaters headed up by Jones and Kyle Tabuhara

Large woven bracelet by Nigiro/Jones Tabujara

Original Vintage 1970's dress by famous Hollywood star fashion designer Holly Harp. Hand signed by Holly and named "Ultimate Power". I have many wonderful memories associated with this dress, and now one more.

Fine pineapple silk scarf by Rugungan sa Tubod weavers

Visit my personal website at http://www.djl.net/
Images Asia Website: http://www.images-asia.com/

GNN Talk News TV by Annete Ablan

2010-03-12T08:48:00.007+08:00

L to R: Annette Ablan, Dave Dewbre, Diana J. Limjoco

March 11, 2010 We were guests on GNN Talk News, hosted by Annette Ablan while we were in Manila. We are trying to pass the word on about electric motor bikes and electric tricyles as an alternative to fossil fuels. We were able to go in depth on the pros and cons of the technology as it stands today and we feel the benefits far outweigh the cons, as long as people know and learn how to take care of them.

Read more about our electric tricycles on my blog. http://electric-tricycles.blogspot.com/

On the set at GNN Talk News TV

One of our Electric Tricycle prototypes in Puerto Princesa, Palawan

Our Etrikes and and electric motorcycle
View our blogs:
http://electric-tricycles.blogspot.com/
http://electricmotorbikes.blogspot.com/

Hectic exciting February

2010-02-27T15:50:00.046+08:00

I can't believe it's the end of February. What a hectic month this has been. Seems like it was just Feb 1, and now the month has flown by. We had a friend of ours from Subic fly in for a few days to explore Puerto Princesa. He seemed to have a good time. He was the perfect guest, just went out on his own and did the things he wanted. We took him to our favorite beach an hour away for a native, eat on banana leaves picnic and we all enjoyed that. He's even coming back next week in March!

Next Merle Deen who is working with the city of PPC for an intergrated tourism plan so everyon benefits from her ideas, and printed collaterals that visitors will receive. Great gal, full of energy and great ideas. We met her the first time we came to PPC in May of 2009. We took her to our Green Tech Eco Center and she was excited about the possibilities there. We did a lot this month with the new electric tricycles at the Green Tech Eco Center. Dave refitted some of the new prototypes with more safety features among other things and now we need to work on the rest of the body. Merle seemed to really like the Etrikes too.

February 14th is a big day for Puerto Princesa, as that is when the city sponsor's the Love Affair with Nature event wherein the Mayor heads up the marriage of hundreds of people, who then have to plant new mangrove trees at location which have been degraded. Thousands of people show up for that and since our company Green Tech EcoCenter handles the official maintenance for PPC we had to dispatch all of the electric vehicles to said location by 4am that day. What a day that was!

Dave drove our two Eagle prototype electric trikes the ET3's, which the City ordered and our partner from Manila, Willy dela Cruz came with a gentleman who is going to help us create an assembly program so we can make the etrikes here and help create jobs.

Suddenly it was the 17th and some business people from Manila came to explore the possibilities of teaming up on our Etrike technology, that day was also Dave's 53rd birthday, so after working all day and also taking my friend Mylene Abiva around town, who was here for a GoNegosyo Seminar sponsored by DTI and held at the PPC coliseum., I was able to throw a little get together for him that night at his favorite restaurant, Kinabuch. He loves the sizzling spareribs and all the waiters never even bother to give him a menu when he gets there since that's pretty much all he ever eats. Mayor Hagedorn was gracious enough to drop by as the first of 4 dinners he had to attend that night. He didn't stay long but we were all so very happy to have a few minutes of his time to ourselves. He's such a nice man, as well as an excellent Mayor.

The next day at the PPC coliseum I was scheduled as one of the first Go NeGosyo entreps to speak along with Vincent Tan at an open forum which was scheduleded for 30 minutes but went on a little longer. That was fun and I really enjoyed the interaction with the crowd and the opportunity to inspire other aspiring entrepreneurs. I had to jump out of that event to attend to some emails and run my U.S. corporation back at my console at our home office, then head back to attend the Mayor's presentation of awards at same event to local entreps. Hop back out and then attend a dinner that night with Mylene that the Mayor hosts on behalf of the City of Puerto for important guests.

By Feb. 23 Images Asia Magazine Publisher and team and photographers arrived to do a story on me and Mayor Hagedorn, and I sort of co-produced Mayor's shoot by coordinating with his team, in between my shots, doing that kept me fairly busy till then left on the 26th.

Dancing at the Baywalk for Image's Asia Magazine shoot

This was a shot I arranged up for Images Asia to feature some of our local talents. It was at the Baywalk and the drummer/fireeater/dancers set up just at sunset and the Publisher, Ernest Gonzaga said to dance to the drums. This is one of the most fun things I enjoy. Dancing to drums. There is something so basic and primodial about the sounds of drums any way. I just to bye bye and all I hear are the drums, my heart beat and I can't help but sway.

Jones Tabujara, whose wife Kyle and daughter also drum with him made a great commotion on the Baywalk. I was so taken by the dance that I didn't realize there was a throng of people all around where we set up.

He a also designs jewelry, native crafts, works of art, hand made drums etc. made from native materials. I own several bracelets, necklaces etc.

At Lotus Garden restaurant

This shoot was at one of mine and Dave's favorite restuarants in town, the Lotus Garden Restaurant and Suites. They were so nice to let us use one of their cabanas as a prop and gave me a suite to change my clothes in. Very nice people that run it. We wound up taking the magazine crew to dinner there on their last night in town.

Picking up Monica and her son Santi!

Feb. 27, 2010-We picked up my niece Monica Eleazar Manzano and her hubby Ramon Manzano III, or "Montri" and their son Santi at the airport at 6pm. They were so excited to be here. Took them to the usual Kinabuch, then on to their new home not but 10 mins away from us!! It's a cute two storey affair and at a fairly reasonable rate, considering the greedy landlords have been tryin to get 20,000 Pesos for just horrid houses. They have been planning this move or at least dreaming of it and telling us of their dream when Dave and I first moved here in Oct. 2009. Monica gives her explanation of why they moved here in a blog she wrote on the eve of their trip here.

Ramon Manzano III and wife Monica Eleazar Manzano

Since Dave and I need help building our Green Tech EcoCenter, I offered him a job with our company to help us grow it. They discussed it together and now here they are! Beginning to live their own dream.

Visit my personal website at http://www.djl.net/

Cover of Images Asia Magazine April May Issue 2010

More photos of behind the scenes for Images Asia Magazine at

http://webdiva888.multiply.com/photos/album/139/Behind_the_Scenes_Images_Asia_magazine

These two photos by by MJ CAHERO for Images Asia Magazine April Issue

One Amazing Wedding- Singson- Michael - Jan. 4, 2010

2010-02-16T12:30:00.016+08:00

Manila fashion designer Icon
Oskar Peralta. The first Filipino designer
to be featured in Vogue Magazine.

In December of 2009 Richelle Singson invited me to be Godmother at her wedding to Richard Peter Michael. Her father, a family friend, just happens to be the Deputy National Security Advisor in the Philippines, and former govenor of Ilocos Sur, Luis "Chavit" Singson. As far as invitations go, it was rather last minute considering I didn't have anything suitable to wear and most of the fashion designers in Manila were already pre booked and buried in orders for the holiday season. I actually tried some of the higher end department stores, but alas, nothing would fit my shortness.

I was lucky enough to run into a social acquaintance in Facebook chat, Becky Garcia, whom I know to have great taste and also knows everyone around it seems, especially fashion designers. She turned me on to a designer named Oskar Peralta, who I later found out is an icon in the fashion world. I was in Manila for a doctor's appointment early in December and Oskar was kind enough to fit me in my hotel room and then made an ink drawing in less than 5 minutes, of what he thought would be flattering on my small stature. The scary part was that I would not be back in Manila to try on the gown until 2 days before the wedding, so if there were major adjustmests, I was afraid he wouldn't have time to change anything. My fears turned out be be unfounded and the dress, with minor adjustments was delivered to my hotel room in enough time the day of the wedding.

L to R: Diana Limjoco, Philippine President Gloria M Arroyo,
bride Richelle, Groom Richard Peter Michael, Phil Vice President
Noli de Castro.

What I didn't know until after I ordered the dress was that the bride had 37 other Godmothers and Godfathers that included Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, Vice President Noli de Castro, Former First Lady Imelda Marcos, her son Congressman Bong Bong Marcos, two major Presidential candidates, Manny Villar and Gilbert "Gibo" Teodoro, and many more congressmen, senators and other notables!

I couldn't help but feel paranoid! Had anyone decided to bomb the event, it would have taken out the heads of state, the two most popular Presidential candidates, and half the candidates it seems, including our national boxing champion and hero, Manny Pacquiao!

It all started off well enough, we picked up my cousin Tata McNamee who was also attending and we got to the church, St. James the Great Parish, in Ayala Alabang Village with time to spare. We went inside the church to get good seats for my hubby Dave and Tata, and I went to the back of the church to lineup with all the notables to wait for the wedding march to begin.

Gov. Singson, Diana, President Gloria
M Arroyo

All went well, the wedding ritual was beautiful and the bride and groom

had their teary eyed moment saying their respective vows. Then all Godmothers were called to the altar to have the formal photo with the bride and groom. This is where it all went south for me. When all the Godmothers were done, there was a small moment in time while they gathered the Godfathers. I took this opportunity to get my solo shot with the bride and groom along with President Arroya and VP Noli de Castro. Two perfect shots and I sallied down the steps, only to trip on my gown. I slid, rather gracefully I might add, right onto my BUTT down the marble steps in front of one and all!!! When I finally landed, one of the Mayor's offered me his hand and I raised myself up with as much dignity as I could muster. What I really wanted to do was crawl under a rock!! However, not being a quitter and not wanting to totally shame my family honor, I stood right back up in front of the altar and pretended I still had some composure.

Dave, Tata and I decided to head to the reception at the beautiful Byzantine Fernbrook Garden thus I was able to avoid the looks of pity and I had time to go into denial about the whole thing by the time we got to the reception. Somehow one of the waiters managed to spill some grease on my beautiful gown without me knowing it, until Dave pointed it out to me. Well nothing to be done for it there. Strike two for this event. I took it in stride. It was nothing to falling on my butt at the church.

Dave Dewbre, Diana Limjoco, boxing champion and
PI Icon Manny Paciquiao

We walked around and talked to those we knew. I walked around getting the invitation signed by as many of the Godparents I could find and then I sprained my ankle. I couldn't believe my bad luck. I managed to hobble to our table where I remained with a napkin full of ice on my ankle,which I asked one of the waiters to get for me. My spirits totally whacked out at this point, and in a great deal of pain, I asked for a wheel chair to be brought to me, and we skulked out a side door, with only a couple of tables witnessing my horrible luck. But of course as someone else pointed out, I looked great, and I guess that was a good thing!

Dave Dewbre, Diana Limjoco, Imelda Marcos and Tata Roxas McNamee

The beautiful bride, Richel Louise Singson Michael, and handsome groom, Richard Peter Michael

More photos in my Multiply Album: http://webdiva888.multiply.com/photos/album/136/Singson_Michael_Wedding#

Facebook | My Photos - Showroom Puerto Princesa

2010-01-30T07:39:00.003+08:00

Green Tech Eco Center, our showroom in Puerto Princesa, Palawan, Philippines is coming along nicely. Electric Trikes to arrive by Feb. 2, 2010. We will show case them here. It is also the official service center for all the of the City's electric vehicles. As far as I know, it's the only dedicated Electric vehicle service center in the Philippines.
Facebook My Photos - Showroom Puerto Princesa

Mural painted by local artists Mario and Tontong

Living in Puerto Princesa, Palawan, Philippines

2010-01-28T07:37:00.002+08:00

We moved to Puerto Princesa, Palawan in October of 2009. It's a small backwoods type of town, but the people are mostly friendly and helpful. It's quite inconvenient as there are no repair shops for our Ford Expedition truck, and only 1 supermarket in the entire town. Yet somehow, it brings me back to the time I while I was growing up in the then sleepy town of Batangas, Batangas, which was not yet a city when I lived there. It's easy to make friends here and those we have made make it worth the daily inconveniences. I like the small town community feel and I am hoping to get more involved with projects that will help educate and move the population to Zero household waste, sometime in the future.

We met the esteemed and well loved mayor of the city, Mayor Edward Hagedorn, back in May of 2009; it was love at first sight for all of us. He is very concerned about keeping the city (one of the largest cities by way of land mass in the entire Philippines) and does something about it. He's quite the legend in his own time and has turned out to be a very good family friend whom we all cherish.

When one hears of Palawan, the first thing that comes to mind usually is El Nido, a tourist spot with pristine beach with emerald green waters, a 6 hour drive north for us. Puerto Princesa is not about beaches, although about an hour out of the city there are a few good ones. It's a city in a forest. We do have beaches but not the clear placid and emerald green coves that can be seen in the north. Most of the population of Palawan live in Puerto Princesa. We have a lot of Mangrove forests here which dot the shoreline. I've learned so much about how mangroves protect our land mass in a short time.

One of the major tourist attractions here is the Puerto Princesa Underground river, also known as the St. Paul Subterannean river. It is a Unesco World Heritage site and has been nominated as one of the New 7 Wonders of the World. Before it was well known to the rest of the world, Puerto Princesa used to get 7000 or so tourists per year. Now that it's on the new 7 Wonders of the World list, tourism has jumped to over 240,000 in one year. The investors cannot build hotels and services fast enought to accomodate them. It's attracted people like me to move here and it's also created a rather large housing shortage. As in all places that see a lot of tourists, housing prices are up and skewed, and I believe it's creating quite an imbalance in the economy, or soon will.

My elderly, but spry parents moved as well, and they have already bought a house near us. My dad, Ramon Limjoco, is 90 and mom, Helen Limjoco is 84. They are still adjusting to the little nuances of the town and the lack thereof of many little conveniences we take for granted in the larger cities like Makati, where they onced lived.

One of the bigger annoyances while driving are the ubiquitous tricycles with a sidecar. They are like an infestation of ants. In most large cities like Manila, it's the jeepney that is everywhere. Here, because most everyting is just about 15 minutes away and the streets are narrow, the tricycles rule. They drive at night without headlights or brake lights making the roads unsafe for all. They don't even bother to look when merging into traffic! Their street manners are non existant. How there are not more accidents is beyond me.

Dave is introducing the new electric tricycle this coming week when they arrive from Manila. We hope to replace every gas powered tricycle to these electric versions someday so that Puerto Princesa city will not become a smog ridden place like many other places in the Philippines. We have a showroom called Green Tech EcoCenter and it's being prepared now to recieve the first prototypes of the new eTrikes ordered up by Mayor Hagedorn on behalf of the City of Puerto Princesa. We will also sell electric motorcycles, because it seems that is the second most popular way of getting around town, and gas bikes are everywhere belching fumes and creating lots of noise.

I miss my friends in the city, but having lived in Subic Freeport in Olongapo, Zambales, I am used to the solitude. We lived in a housing subdivision high on a hill overlooking the beautiful forests, but it was isolating for me socially. Most of my family and friends live in Manila, Makati or Alabang, all within the Metro Manila area. One nice thing is that it's only a 1 hour flight away.

We are raising and are legal guardians of a Filipina child, Alysha Ariela Ricaplaza. I think one of the big reasons we moved here is that it's much easier to get around to take her places like the little beach down the road. Even with the gas Tricycles everywhere, most everything is only 15 minutes away and we felt that this would be a healthier place for Alysha to grow up in. In a couple of years she will be going to school and it will be easier for us to take her to and fro in a healthy environment and clean air.

Raising a child at my age is challenging enough. I have never been much for kids. Even when I was a kid I didn't like kids!!! But she is teaching me patience and she's good for my parents and Dave adores her!

Visit my personal website at: http://www.djl.net/
Dave's website: http://www.danceswithnetworks.com/

Victory Party Manny Pacquiao

2009-12-10T14:40:00.007+08:00

Diana Limjoco and Boxing Champion Manny Pacquiao

Dec. 8, 2009

Victory Party for Manny Pacquiao at the home of Deputy NSA Luis "Chavit" Singon

My parents and I attended the party for Manny Pacquiao the other night. I've been wanting to meet him for the last few years, but my schedule never seemed to fit with the dates of prior parties. My best friend Annette Ablan came over too. My parents dediced to drive back that night to Subic instead of taking a hotel room. So Annette came and dropped me off at my hotel after the party was over.

Diana Limjoco, Manny Pacquiao, Govvernor
of Ilocos Sur, Chavit Singson

When I got the invite this time, I just jumped all over it, as I was going to be in Manila anyway to attend to a few business matters,get a medical checkup and do some last minute Christmas shopping.

Annette Ablan and Diana Limjoco

My mom, Helen Limjoco, met Manny and she got her trophy shot with him too. Unfortunately my 90 year old dad,Ramon, who also attended, is legally blind and he couln't make it through the crush of people who were ganging up on the poor guy trying to get their shot with him too! Manny was very gracious considering he hardly had a chance to eat in between the people clamoring for his attention.

Later on after some fun entertainment, Manny came out and sang a few songs himself too. I didn't even know he liked to sing. It was a blast. I had bought a Manny and Cotto reversible jacket and Manny signed it front and Back!

Manny signed my jacket from the Cotto fight in LV, Nevada

I am not into boxing at all, but Manny is such an Icon and pride of the Philippines, I've been wanting to meet him for quite some time!

Gov. Chavit Singson, Helen Limjoco- back
Jinke and Manny Pacquiao -front.

Ramon Limjoco 90th Birthday Dinner

2009-09-08T08:58:00.015+08:00

We had scheduled a party for my dad's 90th birthday, with over 30 guests and family, to be held at a restaurant in Subic Freeport. During that week dad didn't feel well so he asked me to cancel the party, and I was in Hong Kong with Dave! I sent out email cancellations but they didn't get theirs and wound up at the restaurant only to find no one there.

Dad didn't make a wish as he said all his wishes came true
just having his family there.

I directed them to our house, and didn't tell dad till they were there. It was quite dim and dad is legally blind now, so he didn't even see them come in.

Dad wanted just the 4 of us to have a quiet dinner, but since it was such a momentous birthday, 90, I decided at the last minute to include two gal pals who just live a few houses down. One friend brought her fiancé. We had another young chap who might write dad's bio there too. Then another friend who didn't get the cancellation called and we had her come too, for a total of 5 adult guests and two children of one of my gal pals.

Thank goodness when my brother and family arrived, we at least had quite enough food to go around as by then they were starved. They brought a yummy birthday cake with Happy 90th written on it and saved the day as mom and failed in that department since it was only going to be us 4 for dinner, we didn't get a special one made. Mom had some desert he liked, but not with Happy 90th on it!

When it came time for my dad to blow out the 1 candle, we didn't want to burn the house down with 90 candles and take an hour to light them ahhaha (he might have fallen asleep by then), he thought long and then said, "Well goodness, I have no more wishes as my wish came true with both my children, their spouses, grandkids and 1 great grandson here right now!"

SEE MORE PHOTOS OF DAD'S 90TH BIRTHDAY DINNER BY CLICKING HERE

Net 25 TV HomePage Show Interview

2009-08-04T10:21:00.028+08:00

On July 22, 2009 I interviewed on Net 25 TV at for their HopePage show, to talk about tips for online businesses and to promote the new book launch for GoNegosyo that evening at National Bookstore, Rockwell Power Plant in Makati, Philippines.

The staff and host were so nice! It made me very comfortable during the interview. Here are some photos from that show, plus a link to the online Video on HomePage Facebook account.

You can view the video interview on Net 25 Tv Homepage Show Facebook account by clicking here.

This is me with the lovely and convivial Homepage Show host Eunice Marino

I naturally had to promote the Go Negosyo book I am in called 55 Inspiring Stories of Women Entrepreneurs, since there was a booksigning event at National Bookstore, Rockwell Power Plant in Makati that night.

This is me with the show producer who contacted me and invited me to be on the show Flovs Flores Mangilit

And here I am with Flovs Flores Mangilit and HomePage show host Eunice Marino who interviewed me and made me feel so very much relaxed at at home. She's a cutie pie isn't she?

More new articles about Diana Limjoco:

Inquirer.net Blog Reseller Shows How to Succed online by Karen Galarpe July 2009

Inquirer.net Blog "Never Too Late to Start a Business" by Karen Galarpe 2008

Net 25 TV -Online Video Homepage show interview: Tips on Starting an online Business July 22, 2009
http://www.proudlyfilipina.com/content/behind-every-successful-woman-story

July 22, 2009Net 25 TV: July 22, 2009 Interview still shots

Diana also received the GoNegosyo Most Inspiring Batangueña Award for the Province of Batangas, Nov 2008
http://dianalimjoco.blogspot.com/2008_11_01_archive.html

Gonegosyo-55 Inspiring Stories of Women Entrepreneurs

2009-02-28T19:43:00.039+08:00

President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo formally launched the Philippine Center for Entrepreneurship-Go Negosyo’s third book focusing on women entrepreneurship at the National Bookstore in Rockwell, Makati City, Feb. 26, 2009.

I am honored and humbled to be in Joey Conception's Gonegosyo book called- 55 Inspiring Stories of Women Entrepreneurs.

The book was launched at National

Bookstore at Rockwell Power Plant

Mall, in Makati, Feb. 26th, 2009.
President Gloria Macapal Arroyo graced the event and signed all of our books.

In the book I mentioned my friend, Dennis Patterson, but is mistakenly listed in the book as my cousin, who taught me how to make websites, and my first cousin Joel Limjoco Pastor who was kind enough to host our family site www.limjoco.net and all other sites I decided to make up along the way. I had no idea what it took to

have your own server at that time!

One other mistake in the book is that I met Dave Dewbre, my hubby, in cyberspace. He had been a very good friend of mine since 1989, although we lost touch when we both moved out of Sacramento to other places. I found him again on the web, but that is not where we met! Not sure how they came up with that.

Although it is just me featured in the book, I have to add that the corporation was created by me and my husband DaveDewbre in 2002, and it was our combined skills that amalgamated into the perfect fusion to sustain the business. Also, I must give credit to our most excellent team of web designers, warehouse staff and tech support people for a job well done in keeping the daily chores going smoothly and the corporation growing

annually.

I didn't have an easy time learning all of this web stuff, I had to force myself most of the time. But perseverance has paid off.

Read Joey Conception's Blog about the event. http://www.gonegosyo.info/blog/
To find out more about the Gonegosyo organization visit their websites

Book is now available for purchase online at National Bookstore:
http://www.nationalbookstore.com.ph/shop/products.asp?merchant_code=NBS&categ=26&product=24104

at: http://www.gonegosyo.net/ or http://gonegosyo.multiply.com/

More new articles about Diana Limjoco:
Inquirer.net Blog Reseller Shows How to Succed online by Karen Galarpe July 2009

Inquirer.net Blog "Never Too Late to Start a Business" by Karen Galarpe 2008

Net 25 TV -Online Video Homepage show interview: Tips on Starting an online Business

http://www.proudlyfilipina.com/content/behind-every-successful-woman-story July 22, 2009

Net 25 TV: July 22, 2009 Interview still shots

Diana also received the GoNegosyo Most Inspiring Batangueña Award for the Province of Batangas, Nov 2008
http://dianalimjoco.blogspot.com/2008_11_01_archive.html

Photos of Award Day on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=10699&id=1063401730&l=2f40f

Trip to Chavit Singson's Baluarte

2008-12-31T15:04:00.022+08:00

Dave and I were invited to fly up to Baluarte, Vigan, Ilocos Sur, with our compadre Chavit Singson to experience first hand his beloved zoo.

There are camels, orangotangs, ostriches, tigers, Palawan bear cats, birds of many kinds. Reptiles galore...not my thing but a couple of the guests braved the up close encounter! Even draping one around her! I touched it, but the thing was so much bigger than me and I thought perhaps I looked more like a meal to it than anything else...so I kept a safe distance!At the free animal show (actually everything is free at the Baluarte zoo), the audience is invited to participate, many kids and kids at heart including myself, got to hold the animals and experience them first hand. I was lucky enough to get a sugar glider. Soft and furry, cute and sweet, unlike the next guest who got a lizard and then next a snake!

I especially enjoyed playing with the organgotangs. And I loved the birds and butterfly garden.I got to take a pony ride in a mini got and that was fun.

To read more about Chavit Singson and his Baluarte zoo go to his official website at:
http://www.chavitsingson.net/baluarte/

The zoon is open 7 days a week and the admittance is free. Even the rides are free so go on and visit it. It's worth it and the price is right.

Most Inspiring Batangueño Entrepreneur Award

2008-11-08T14:33:00.017+08:00

Given to me for http://www.batangasnow.com/ by Governor Vilma Santos Recto in Batangas City at the Provincial Auditorium Nov 7m 2008 for http://www.gonegosyo.net/

Governor Vilma Santos (in pink) and me in Brown

Batangas is my hometown, so I felt compelled to go accept the award, even though I am still recovering from a massive surgery to honor my ancestors who were from there and my father Ramon A Limjoco, who was the Charter and founding President of the Batangas Chamber of Commerce and the Batangas Lion's club in the 1960's. I want to give credit to my own mentors, Dennis Patterson who forced me into learning web design and Photoshop, and to my first cousin Joel Limjoco Pastor who allowed me to put up all the sites I wanted, such as http://www.batangasnow.com/, http://www.limjoco.net/ our clan site for several years, until my company acquired it's own dedicated web servers! Joel and Dennis thanks so much!

And I really could not have done this without the collaboration and skills of my hubby, Dave Dewbre who is CEO of our corporation, Digital Web Group, Inc.
The trip just about killed me but I am home safe and will most likely spend the weekend recovering in bed!

Congressman Brionnes, Gov. Vilma Santos, Diana J. Limjoco

I am most appreciative of the award which I didn't expect at all from http://www.gonegosyo.net/ Given to me for http://www.batangasnow.com/ by Governor Vilma Santos Recto in Batangas City at the Provincial Auditorium Nov 7m 2008. I want to give credit to my own mentors, Dennis Patterson who forced me into learning web design and Photoshop, and to my first cousin Joel Limjoco Pastor who allowed me to put up all the sites I wanted, such as Iskandalo.com, http://www.batangasnow.com/, http://www.limjoco.net/ our clan site for several years, until my company acquired it's own dedicated web servers! Joel and Dennis thanks so much!

I am most appreciative of the award which I didn't expect at all from http://www.gonegosyo.net/

Award says:Most inspiring Batangueño Entrepreneur -Special Award for establishing http://www.batangasnow.com/ as the online portal that showcases the beauty of the province and its people, thus helping promote tourism in the province and for pushing for online entrepreneurship through the creation of web sites born out of skill, talent and hard work. Her success has proven the Batangeuño's ability to utilize their innate sense of resourcefulness, determination and enthusiasm in developing profitable entrepreneurial ventures that uplift lives and contribute towards economic development. Signed by Jose Ma A Conception and Governor Vilam Santos Recto Given on the 7th day of November 2008

My parents Helen and Ramon Limjoco

Diana Limjoco, our ward Alysha and hubby Dave Dewbre

More Photos and articles at:

July 22, 2009 Net 25 TV HomePage Show: Tips for Succeeding online. Video
July 22, 2009 Net 25 TV Set Photos

July 2009 Reseller Shows how to Succeed Online- Inquirer.net Blog by Karen Galarpe

It's Never too late to Start a businessby Karen Galarpe Nov. 13, 2008 for Inquirer blog categories Posted under leadership in business, success stories, women

http://ph.news.yahoo.com/star/20081107/tph-batangue-o-online-fastening-industry-541dfb4.html Article by gonegosyo.info team

http://www.philstar.com/archives.php?aid=2008110688&type=2 Article Phil Star

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=10699&l=2f40f&id=1063401730 Photos
http://webdiva888.multiply.com/photos/album/92 Photos

Go Negosyo's new book launched: 55 Stories of Inspiring Women Entrepreneurs which diana is in:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=17120&id=1063401730&l=ee823 Photos of Book launch on Facebook

Go Negosyo's Audio Visual Presentation- Sept. 13, 2009
BELIEVE-
BELIEVE by Boom DayupayAmidst the confusion, divisiveness, apathy and seeming hopelessness lingering, we all need a source of inspiration to help us get by. I hope this video will be able to touch you and inspire you to think more positively than focus on the negative things happening around.

There are 4 quick photos of me in this AVP from 3 different events.

89th & 83rd Birthday for my Parents

2008-09-23T07:18:00.068+08:00

Luncheon Lauriat for Ramon A Limjoco 89th and Helen Limjoco 83rd Birthday Sept. 7, 2008-Tagaytay Highlands China Palace, Mall of Asia, Manila. (Hold your mouse over the photos to see the captions describing who are in the various shots.)

I had two weeks to put together a hurried guest list as I had not been feeling well up until a few days before the party. My mom and dad's birthdays fall within 1 week of each other. Most of the people we know live in or have easier access to Manila than Subic Bay Freeport, where we live. We all decided to have the luncheon in Manila. We had an intimate luncheon for 45 friends and relatives, hastily thrown together.

My parents kept insisting that I cancel the party because of how unwell they said I looked, but I knew it would force me to Manila, and I thought I would just see my doctora after the luncheon on Monday.

My mom scheduled an exam by my Doc. Hildegarde Vistal, the day before the party on Saturday because she said she didn't like my color! My doctor coincidentally, had another office at a hospital very close to the hotel. My usual hospital was way further. Yes, doctors here see people on Saturdays! Doctora wanted to admit me to hospital that night after much examinings and test, but I didn't want to ruin my parent's joint birthday luncheon! I love them so much that I really wanted to have them enjoy the few people that could make it on such short notice. My parents have done so much for me, and at their ages, I never take for granted I will have the blessed fortune of sharing another year or day with them!

Strangely enough, it was me that would have gone before them without the emergency surgery the day after the luncheon! I didn't even know I was that sick! Gosh golly and I am a mere 60 years old and I feel like I am just getting started, since I have had a sickly body most of my life!

Another amazing coincidence was that the internationally renowned healing priest, Father Fernando Suarez just arrived in Manila from Vancouver at 4AM morning of the luncheon. He somehow called my parents and they told him I was in pain. He had my parents take me to where he was staying, not far from the hotel we were in. He laid hands on me and prayed and the pain went away! I was able to function through the day.

Originally the diagnosis was that the abscesses were malignant. Who knows that the powers that be, working through Fr. Fernando Suarez might have at least taken away the cancer. He also honored us and our illustrious guests by attending our luncheon. Along with him came Congressman, and former Governor of my My darling aunt Baby Gala de Villa came and it always warms my heart to see her. I have the sweetest childhood memories of her that have lasted till this day! hometown of Batangas, Dodong Mandanas, and former Governor also of Batangas, Tony Leviste, both donated land for Fr. Suarez and his fellow companion priests to heal and see people from.

One of our other guests was newly appointed Philippine Deputy National Security Advisor, Luis Chavit Singson, has always been very kind to me and Dave, and my parents. Even with the press hounding him for an interview in light of the newly announced Palace Cabinet appointment, he had media meet him at the restaurant rather than leave the party. I thought that was very gracious of him.

A couple of groups of my dear 1st cousins came with their kids and a good time was had by all. We were joined later by good friend Annette Ablan, the Alcantara girls, Rubee, Avic and Jin, my nephew Dondi and his family, to to my photo album to see the whole list.

We ordered more food than I thought. I mean to tell you the food just kept on coming! It was like a decadent Roman feast, except in this case it was a Chinese Laureate.

I was so happy that my parents and guests had a long, relaxing, and enjoyable luncheon together with me and Dave.

That night, I slept early and fasted, knowing instinctively that I was in trouble. I have an abnormally high threshold for pain, when I get root canals I don't take any sedation or Novocaine!

When I was bent in pain on Monday, I was glad to have fasted! They had to open me up that night! I was under the knife for 7 1/2 hours! I had 5 doctors attending me! Had I waited another few days or even a week, the doctors said my colon would have exploded as well as my bladder, along with the pustules. I would have been poisoned to death. I was the worst case the surgeon had seen in his life, and must be in his 70's! My insides were so wrapped up in adhesions, abscesses, pustules, fistulas, they didn't even know what organs were what until they painstakingly, and carefully cut bit by bit of bad matter away! Every time they would try to cut out an adhesion, one of the pustules would burst and I had to be suctioned and clean up...my entire inner cavity and colon, bladder and I don't know what all, were wrapped up with adhesions! I am grateful to be alive! God is good.

Fortunately, here in the Philippines, a suite room is less than a hotel room, and they allow members of your family to stay with you! My mom, Helen, stayed with me most of the time and was the best caregiver a gal could ask for!

My deepest and eternal thanks to all of you who made my parents birthday so very special for all of us.

My profoundest gratitude to all of you who kept me in their prayers, held healing thoughts and to Fr. Fernando Suarez for channeling his healing energy to me. The doctors said while I was in hospital, that I was recovering so fast for someone who had undergone such an intense surgery. I am trying to be patient with myself. I am always trying to make up for lost time.....sigh.

My eternal thanks to my most excellent Doctora Hildegarde Vistal, and her husband Dr. Godofredo Vistal, my anesthesiologist, who held my life in his hands. My many thanks to my brilliant, patient and kind surgeon, Dr. Marcelino Pojas, his son, Dr. Pojas,Jr. who assisted him during surgery and took the time to keep me from having a colostomy! Thanks to my cardioligist Dra. Gracita Topacio who stayed till the end to monitor my heart during my time in the recovery room. Many thanks to Manila Medical Center, with their kind and attentive nurses and staff doctors!

The saga goes as after I got back home to Subic, there were some complications and I had to be admitted to a hospital in Olongapo....a scary thought, but Manila was so far away and I was getting dehydrated and unable to hold anything down. It all turned out well and I am alive....I am so grateful. God is good

CLICK the link below to see the Photo album of all photos of the luncehon in facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=8053&l=2f386&id=1063401730

Here is my musical slide show with Music by Celine Dion, called "Because you Loved Me" which is how I feel about my parents.
created by my company web division http://www.digitalwebgroup.com/

Wild Birds and Bees Subic

2008-08-23T09:37:00.035+08:00

I love living in Subic Freeport. It's like living in a real National Geographic nature episode. Armed with my new Nikon D60 digital camera I've been taking advantage of the vast array of things to photograph. From wildlife to just the flowers, or even the view from my bedroom window.

Yesterday a swarm of wild bees landed on the tree in the back yard. The tree is three stories high, and since we are on the hill in back of it, the swarm is pretty much at eye level.

They don't seem to be the usual gold and black colored domestic US bee I am accustomed to. These seem more silver and black.

I did a quick Google search and it appears this is a secondary swarm protecting a new virgin queen and will fly off when they find a more suitable protected area to nurture their queen.

It's so close to the balcony where we hang out in the early mornings and evenings, so I hope they don't freak out and decide we are a threat! Although this is exciting, and something I have only seen in nature shows on TV, it's a little disconcerting to have that many bees so close. We are just going to keep an eye on them to see if they move on as suggested by my little research on the web.

Last week while I was at my desk which overlooks the magnificent native 3 story tree in our side and back yards, I spotted another interesting bird. A Luzon Horn bill! It's the very first wild horn bill I have ever seen, and being the simpleton I am, I found this truly exciting!

The same tree that is now housing the wild bee swarm, is a hang out for the Blue Throated Bee eater (photo with 2 birds) , the Coppersmith Barbet (photo bird with really red head, and the red faced Coleto with black and white feathers, whose red head is not feathers but skin, reminding me of an American vulture. There are several families of Yellow Orioles as well. It's a veritable cornucopia of wild birds. I took the photos of birds from our bedroom. I needn't go far at all to capture them if I am patient.

On drives through the tall giant jungle tree lined roads in the Freeport, there are often monkeys sitting along the way sides. Some even took over a bus stop for a few hours. It's sad to see the monkeys sometimes because there are mutilated ones that have been caught in traps and have no hands, legs or tails, or a combination thereof. Some of the monkeys had newborn babies. They are so cute, you just want to cuddle them.

But of course they are wild animals and we keep our distance. Monkeys are freakish and jumpy, anything scares them and if you're in front or near them, you might get bitten.

It's another week and I thought I would just append this blog since it's still about birds and wildlife in Subic. Most especially from my bedroom window. I've been confined to bed since picking up Dave at the airport in Manila on Aug 21, the very next day my darned diverticulitis acted up and I've been in bed ever since. The only exception, is when I hear birds chirping outside, then I grab my handy, dandy Nikon D60, with a 300 mm lens, and shoot out the window.

This week I have spotted three more kinds of birds that I had'nt seen before! Yesterday I spotted a group of colorful birds, I thought were parrots, but they were smaller than the flowers they landed on, I suspect they are a type of parakeet or budgie!The bee swarm has moved on since they landed in the back yard tree. They only stayed about three days and moved. There was a very heavy rainfall a few days ago, and I imagine this encouraged them to find a more permanent place out of the weather for their new queen.
I had my birthday sick in bed this year. Not very thrilling but it's better than being dead I suppose!

Check out my other blog about the birds and wildlife in Subic Freeport:
http://www.squidoo.com/subicbay

Subic Gurl Friends

2008-07-26T10:32:00.014+08:00

I took these photos last month. A fun night was had by all.

I met some new "old friends" in Subic in the last few months. Cheryl Singzon who arranged for us to be extras in the Filipino movie, "My Best Friend's Girlfriend", has been a great resource for information and is fun to hang out with! It's always fun and nice to meet other confident and modern ladies. (In the top photo L to R: Cheryl, me, Khana)

Then she introduced us to Kahna Verzosa, whose family owns the Subic Park Hotel and she is it's GM. What a great gal!! We had them both over one night and starting goofing around! I plied them with wine and we all got silly! So here are those shots wine induced me to take!

Actually I am old enough to be their Aunty, so I have adopted them and am now their Aunt Mame!

I got really bad leg cramps the night before last and it left my calves knotted up, so last night I threw a massage party here at the house and had them over to luxuriate and relax together! Now that was relaxing!

Gotta love being a gurl!

Health, Wealth and Happiness

2008-07-25T14:14:00.007+08:00

I have thought about what people say about health, wealth and happines. Of late I am missing the health part, and I can tell you all the rest don't mean much without it.

I have been having a battle with health most of my life, but the last few years have been an swim upstream!

Just when my life is so full; a great hubby, a baby in the house and I'm finally near my parents and living in my beloved Philippines after spending most of my adult life in the United States, my health has taken a real down turn.

It's so hard to keep my spirits up when I can't get my body to cooperate! Yet I am still filled with so much gratitude for all the other blessings in my life! I figure, it could be even worse. Especially when I look all around me and see other people in much more difficult life situations.

At least I am surrounded by those that really love me, and the natural beauty of Subic is so aweinspiring. I took that photo of the Oriole in the tree outside my bedroom window!

Ahh well, enough self pity. Time to go play with Alysha, I hear her wanting attention!

Raising Alysha

2008-07-24T18:14:00.010+08:00

Raising a baby at the late age of 59! It's not always easy for me, I must admit. I want to do the right thing for her always. But my patience isn't what it could be.

Watching Alysha from infancy, at 1 week old, to date at 7 months has been a revelation! I am often times filled with awe, interspered with perplexity! She is so smart and is fully aware of what is going on around her. She notices anything and everything around her!

I am really looking forward to the day that she can talk! Even a child talking back has got to be better than the squeals and grunts a baby makes! This challenge I am up to! It's the not knowing what she needs that frustrates and bewilders me!

As far as baby's go, she is really a good one! And since Dave and I love to shop for her, she is quite the fashionista already!

The Only Poem

2008-07-24T15:56:00.002+08:00

I wrote this poem when I was 9 or 10 years old. I didn't think about it, it just came rolling out of me. It's the first and last poem I ever wrote!

“Long ago in an ancient and forgotten land,

We strolled through green meadows hand in hand.

Eyes gazing upon a foamy billowy sea and there we sat, just you and me.

You told me stories of your adventurous youth,me, my girlish fantasies.

Oh! How we laughed, not a care in the world except for one another.

But that was long before life took us both Into her gaping mouth and sucked us into her belly.

Now not years but lifetimes since, I can still see your sparkling eyes and Eternal spirit.

And love is not the childhood dream I once held and lost.

It is more. Yes! much, much more.”

Never A Tomorrow

2008-07-24T09:18:00.013+08:00

For us dear, Never a tomorrow.

I fell in love when I was 16 years old. After having endured the traumas described in previous blog page named "A Child No More", I was ready for some magic.

I was not your average teenager by then. Falling in love changed my life’s path forever. I always held an ideal of what the man I fell in love with would be like. It seemed like everyone I really liked then was spoken for or simply wouldn’t be caught dead with me. I decided I’d rather have boys as friends because I couldn’t stand it when they got all fawn eyed and gooey. I wanted a man who knew his own mind and could teach me things I didn’t know about life.

Being alone with so many secrets I just wanted someone to love me...truly love me.

My love was doomed from the start. I met “Leo”, a pen name, to protect the innocent, in the office of a friend, who happened to be a dentist fixing a bridge for him. A totally unromantic setting to meet the man of your dreams. But no, it mattered little because the room disappeared and I could see only him, and the look in his eyes, the world seemed to have become this vast and expansive universe, with only the two of us in it. We seemed to be looking at someone we had known all our lives, finding each other again after a long absence. It happened in a moment, a mere flash in time, but that moment has lasted my whole life in it’s glorious splendor. It was like a scene from a movie, a love story, and it was happening to me.

We both spoke the words "It's you!" My friend said, "Oh you both know each other already." Stunned that we both had said the same thing at the same time, we said, "Actually no, we haven't met". We were both still amazed that we had said "It's you!".

He immediately took my phone number. The next day he and his driver, picked me up we went to lunch. Nothing mattered except that when we were next to each other or even thought of each other, our heads would swim and we had little control of this feeling. It was like a tidal wave of utmost passion and love, and it would crash down upon us, not even in gentle waves did it come to us. Until now when I think of those days, my heart still quickens and my pulse begins to race, and my breath will come in tiny gasps. The tiny hairs on my nape and arms will rise and every pore aquiver, I still shiver in pleasant ecstatic remembrance. After all these years! It is life’s gift to me.

Unfortunately it became such a tragedy for me and cast shadows over my lifes’ years in my 20’s and 30’s. Perhaps the memories now are a consolation, in that I have learned to forgive him, and forgive myself for my complicity in loving him, as it turned out, a married man. Oh woe the day I found out he was not divorced. But I get a head of myself.

In him I found someone who would listen to my ideas about life, or even answer my questions. He didn’t treat me as though I were a “mere child” but as an equal. The thing I loved about him, aside from his debonair ways, was his MIND. God gave me an inquisitive mind, and as soon as I could think I was pondering the meaning of life and I wanted to know everything about everything.

He was an affluent, self made millionaire/businessman at the age of 31 when I met him. He had also studied chemistry in college and had a brilliant mind for how things worked, in fact, he worked with some other chemists who came up with the very first formula to mold capiz into those lovely articles encased in mother-of-pearl these days. I have one of the very first objects made with this molded capiz, in the form of a praying hands, with an inscription on the back that states that it is “the first of it’s kind”. He was brilliant. He could talk about anything on most subjects. He called me his “little genius” his “diamond in the rough”. He saw the mind God had given me and wanted to help to mold it. He loved opera and could hold his own singing in soprano, versions of “che gelida manina” from the Opera La Boheme.

He loved to sing to me and play the piano, and I would blissfully listen, conjuring up dreams of our charmed future together. He was aside from other things, a V.P. at a popular Manila Newspaper and he introduced me to photojournalism first hand. I was thrilled. Photography was a love of mine since my dad gave me my first “Brownie” camera when I was about 11 years old. Dad was the first to show me how to use a camera. But I stray. He let me go out with the writers and take photos of their sessions so I could learn get the experience I wanted.

We were always careful and discreet in where we went together. My parents would never have allowed me to even begin seeing a man of this age or go on assignments with writers, altho he was always with me for these. After 3 months of basically hiding this affair from my parents, “Leo” said we should “come clean” because after my classes I had no more reasons to be going out of the house as often as I had. We then both went to my parents and “confessed” our feelings for one another, and he surprised me by asking for my hand in marriage! My parents looked as though someone had punched them in the stomach. But upon my protestations at their disapproval and avowals of love from both of us, they relented to a test period of engagement; that were could proceed with the courtship in the open and with their blessing after that.

Oh joy, of joys. To love him openly, to be with him and my family together as one.We both loved to dance and when we danced our bodies were one, and our rhytyms were in tune, and it was a glorious experience to be led across a dance floor by him. Often people would stop and watch, as though we were Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire. He spoiled me mercilessly. I had never wanted for much from my family, and being a sickly only daughter, I was spoiled by them as well. On my first birthday with him, he told me to go outside, we were at the Newspaper office, which I did. I saw a car filled to overflowing with roses. Roses!! Thousands of red roses..when I opened the door they spilled out and the fragrance of them made me dizzy. Taped to the steering wheel was a card and the keys to the car and a note that there was still another present hidden amongst the roses in the car. It was a dainty Rolex Orchid to fit my delicate wrist!!

WOW..EXCITING!! I didn’t even know how to drive!! My parents drove me everywhere I need to go, or we had a driver. How was I going to get this home, and let’s see, my dumb luck, it’s a stick shift too!! Well I faked it....drove that puppy all the way home. How I did it I will never know, but I managed it from remembering the times my mother explained it to me. The gears, the pedals etc. I was beet red from exertion, that when he met up with me he even asked why I was so red!! I think I blamed it on the heat! He was fond of buying me fine jewelry, extraodinary sets in custom. Diamonds, rubies, sapphires, matching earrings, tiarra, necklaces, bracelets, rings, he showered upon me. Some of my female relatives collected and wore such baubles, pearls, diamonds, emeralds etc. They always mesmerized me but I had no overwhelming desire to seek them out on my own. To me they were tokens of his affection and the size or quality mattered little to me.

One time I wanted to eat Chinese food, he asked me to bring my passport to lunch, and had his driver pick me up. I was taken to the airport where I met him and off we flew to Hong Kong for Chinese food. How romantic! How could I not love this man with his wonderful surprises?? Hong Kong was just over a couple hours away from Manila by plane.

He made the simplest things seem extraordinary and he marveled at my ability to grasp politics, his ideas on chemistry, philosophy, history. For hours on end we would discuss these things, that is, when we could pry ourselves apart from a torrid embrace or lingering kiss. Eventually of course, Manila being the small town that it was and is, we found out “Leo” was not divorced at all. That he was still living with his wife and 6 children. At first he would make excuses that his wife was fragile, he couldn’t tell her right then, or that there were legal complications. So in love with him was I that I wanted to believe these blatant lies. I wanted to believe he couldn’t have done this to our love, but soon enough it was all too clear that he had lied to me from the very first.

To say that it broke my heart would never describe the total devastation I felt when I realized he had betrayed my trust in him. I felt like a fool, and I even talked to his wife, who also eventually found out, telling her I’m sorry, I didn’t know. It was so awful to face her but it was a catharsis for me, and ll the while a part of me was screaming, “I don’t care if he lied, I love him anyway.” But no, for me it was over.

All the rivers in the world could have been filled with my tears when I told him it was over. He begged me to forgive him, and even showed up with a suitcase one night saying he’d finally done it, he’d left her. But I knew I would never trust him again, and I never wanted his children to say it was me who tore their father from them. I wanted to keep him, but in my heart, I knew it was wrong, and I had to let him go. My mother took me on a trip to Europe to get me away from him. To help me forget him. But when we arrived in Switzerland, he was there to meet us at the airport with a limousine waiting outside, saying, that we had to say goodbye properly, that it would all work out, that he loved me, and would love me forever and to please be patient. I never saw a thing in Switzerland but him...through my endless tears. My poor mother was so overwrought.

We all tried to be civil during this trip, we had dinner, tried to pretend all was well. Leo and my mom talking about possibilities for my new future. It’s all a daze to me. We went on to London, and again he met up with us. I couldn’t escape him. One night he opened up three velvet boxes with sets of matching bracelets, rings, necklaces, tiaras; one rubies and diamonds, the other diamonds and emeralds, and the last diamonds and blue sapphires. He said he had gotten them at a bargain for only $1 million dollars each and that they were for me, as a token of his love and affection. I felt as though he was trying to buy me back and I hurled them across the room and fled weeping. Finally realizing it was a futile trip, we came back home to Manila, just in time for my brothers wedding.

It went from being the fairy tale romance of the year to a future I didn’t know I could face without him. One night I was so distraught I took every pill I could get my hands on, hoping to die. I guess my parents found me and rushed me to the Hospital to have my stomach pumped. I was shrieking for them to leave me alone to let me die. I was cursing the doctor. When the pills didn’t work, I crashed my car into a sea wall, but was once again saved and taken to a hospital to be stitched up. Life had no meaning for me.

Life was a cruel joke on the innocent. God was cruel and uncaring. I was at war with God and the world and most of all myself. I felt so alone, so very alone. I had planned a life of adventure with him, and now to face it alone, I could not. I tried so many ways to do myself in, and none of them worked until I simply gave up and went through the motions of life to try to recapture the love of life I had before him.

My parents sent me away from him to San Francisco to take up classes in fashion design which I thought I would enjoy but didn’t. We were so close that one time it came into my head that he was downtown at the St. Francis Hotel, and on an impulse I called the hotel and he was indeed there with his wife.

We were always running into each other in the oddest places, hotel lobbies in Los Angeles, or at the airports on our ways here and there. And always, the fervent looks, and he would whisper that he still did and would always love me. It was something we both knew, it was something we both knew we could never recapture again in this life. We always loved each other in a special way all his life. He died a year or two ago, and I knew when he died, when his soul left this earth. Though we could never be together, but in the special way of kindred spirits I knew when his indomitable spirit left this earth.

When I remember him now, it is no longer the torrents of passion, but a simpler, kinder love for each others souls and indomitable spirits. To him I want to say, “Thank you for the love and even the pain, that has molded my life into one of great meaning and depth.” And as always my dearest friend, even though you are gone now from this earth, and for us, “never a tomorrow”, I hope you are at peace and happy now where ever you are.(as much as I’d like to put up photos of us, this mans wife is still alive and his children, I would not wish to hurt in any way, should they stumble across this diary)"

This song by Queen reminds me of this love affair to remember:

Words and music by brian may
Theres no time for us
Theres no place for us
What is this thing that builds our dreams yet slips awayFrom us
Who wants to live foreverWho wants to live forever....?
Theres no chance for us
Its all decided for us
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us

Who wants to live forever
Who wants to live forever?
Who dares to love forever?
When love must die

But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can have forever
And we can love forever
Forever is our today
Who wants to live forever
Who wants to live forever?
Forever is our today

Who waits forever anyway?

A Child No More

2008-07-24T08:47:00.012+08:00

At the tender age of 13 my life took an awful turn. It irrevocably tore whatever remnant of childhood might have lingered in myself. I only remember that my parents were out of town in the provinces...in those days, no cell phones, not even a phone in the province (bukids) for my parents to call and check on us.

A lot of the details of this incident are now vague, my brains' protection against the trauma I suppose. I remember asking my brother to take me to the beach in Batangas, I cannot be more specific and later you will see why. He did. He dropped me off, I assumed he would come back the next day to fetch me, which he did not.
After he left, I went to one of my real blood uncles beach house which I assumed I could use but was closed for some odd reason, even the caretaker was no where to be found. I strolled down the beach till it became dark and I came upon the home of a family “friend” allied by friendship since my grandfathers time. I knocked and my two “titos” were there playing cards and drinking, I’ll never forget, Johnny Walker Red! I asked them if they could put me up for the night, which they did in a cabana type screened in room.

Not long after I retired, one of the “titos” (everyone is a tita or tito back home that is older) to the door and asked me to let him in. I don't answer. Next is on the verandah, I can see him through the screen, inches away from my head, once again whispering, “let me in, I won’t hurt you, I just want someone to cuddle with”. Oh wow...this definitely NOT a good thing. Instinct tells me I am not in a good situation here. I’m thinking, what do I do, and where do I go now? The middle of the night, hours away from home, no phones, and I don’t really know anyone else I can stay with. There is another door which exits to the beach, but if I get up now, he will see me. I pretend to be asleep.

He comes back in the house and tries the inner door, while he is doing this, I literally leap from the bed and rush for the outer door, and dash into the moonless night on the the beach. My heart is pounding so hard I am sure everyone else can hear it. I hear voices, I see flashlights, and soon both of these “titos” are in pursuit of me. I am now prey for for the drunken mindless male predator which the alcohol has unleashed within them. I look to and fro, I slip under nipa huts as they go past me, hiding in the deepest shadows, barely breathing, heart still pounding, mind racing. I’m wondering, “why is this happening to me?”

I slip into the dirt roadway and see a house lit up, and people on the upper verandah playing mahjong, I recognize a woman who is an acquaintance of my family, I dash up the stairs, trying to be calm. I tell her my brother has not come back for me, may I sleep here in the house till morning, surely someone will come back for me then. She coos over me, her maternal instincts kick in and she leads me to a room where I promptly fall asleep from exhaustion. These men had been hunting me for most of the night and by now, it’s about 3 a.m.

In the morning, early at first light by the looks of it, I am awakened by this “lady family friend” and am told that she has arranged a ride back home with another friend, and that their driver was outside waiting for me. Roosters are still crowing vigorously. I thank her profusely and enter the car. My eyes close on their own, from the lack of sleep, and it’s a long drive back home. When the car stops, I can’t even open my eyes, I assume the driver is getting some ciggies from a street vendor before the long ride home... suddenly both of the doors in the back where I am, open and I am now surrounded by the two men who pursued and lost me in the night.

Oh my God, this has got to be a nightmare. This stuff only happens in horror movies. But no, they are real, still drunk, eyes bloodshot and in very bad, malicious frames of mind. I am trapped, I’m only or 13 or 14, I don’t have the cunning or conniving mind to get out of this one. They say do not worry, they will take me home, which I can sense is a lie, but hope it is not. Their malevolence is palpable. I do not know what to do, I’m so scared. I’m so angry at God again for letting this happen to me.

After driving for awhile I realize that they are NOT taking me home. We are somewhere in the outskirts of Manila and the driver pulls up to a house, I suppose this must be their “safe house”. Many powerful and wealthy males kept them to bring their mistresses to. I’d heard about them. Now I am at one. This can’t be happening to me. I will not leave the car, I say, “ OK I’ll just drop you off and this is fine, my parents have a flat in Manila I can stay at, your driver can just take me there.” But there’s gun in my face now, and “ no, you will come with us or I willl blow your head off.” This is unbelievable. I’m so afraid I’m shaking uncontrollably, and they lead me into the house, where they lock the door from the inside with KEYS!! I’m sunk and I know it.

I make a dash for the bathroom, I lock the door, and I sit on the floor shaking and crying, and trying to think but too stunned to. I hear them twisting the door knob. Then silence. I’m trapped in here, there are bars on the windows..no way out. They leave me in here for what seems hours. Taunting me with words, calling me names from the other side of the door. Now cajoling, now threats, now silence. The humiliation I feel disgusts me, they disgust me. I throw up, I can’t even make it to the toilet bowl. Suddenly as I crawl for the toilet bowl, to continue my retching there, there’s a loud bang and a kick and the door slams open, I am grabbed my my hair, I feel a slap across my face, I am thrown down onto the bed and pinned down by these two animals. They just sit on me laughing, their breath befouling me. I am thrusting out like an animal, primordial survival instincts over ride thought. I’m biting anything that gets near me, I am reduced to an animal, I am willing to bite off the arm they are holding me by if only I could. I am slapped more, my hair is pulled more, my shirt is ripped off me, I want to kill them, I look for the gun to shoot them with, but one of the others is holding it on me, I can’t reach it. I am crying and the sweat of fear is rolling off me and my arm becomes slippery and I am able to twist to my side, roll off the bed and make a run for the door. He grabs my arm, another shot goes off, but the bullet misses me. I run into the living room. The front door is thrust open, and new man walks in, I drop to his feet, cling to his legs, “save me, save me” I am hysterical, inside me I am now screaming, but my throat is so constricted from fear my voice will not raise above a quivering whisper. “Help me, please help me.” I BEG.

He looks up and sees the disgruntled appearance of the two, I’m sure he too can smell their alcohol breath. He asks them, “Who is this?” they are silent, they look at me rapaciously, slyly. I answer him, he knows my family, my fathers' reputation for revenge, his bad temper. He is stunned, he literally seems to fly at them from across the rooms and grabs them and slams their heads into each other! Whack, cracking sound. They are dazed, fall to the floor...”Mga Ulol, mga gago” he says ( YOU idiots translated.) “What there aren’t enough putas in the world you have to befoul one of our own?” “Stay where you are”, he commands them, though I can see he is clearly younger than the two. He looks at me apologetically, he goes to another bathroom and fetches me up a towel to cover my ripped shirt. He looks from them to me, his hand rubbing his head in indecision. He apologizes, he asks my age, I tell him, he’s shaking his head now. Cussing and swearing at the other two.

He says “ I’m sorry, but now we really have to kill you. If your father finds out about this it will cause a blood war between our clans and this I cannot allow.” I go white, he pulls out a gun which I now see was under his jacket, I realize I’m going to die now, how sad and so young too.

The other two object. Now they are saying, “Wait, maybe we better run her over to make it look like an accident.” The other, “No! Maybe we should drown her in the pool to make it look like an accident.” They cannot decide how to kill me. I whisper “Please, don’t kill me, you don’t want evil to come upon your own daughters from this do you?” This hits home...they listen.

I say “I promise, I will never tell anyone about this. No one will ever know”. He says, “No you are a child and will not keep your word”. I look him straight in the eyes, “NO, I am no longer a child, I WILL keep my word. I have only one brother, one father, I do not want them to die at your hands, I will be silent. Please think of your own children, and the sins of the father”. We stare at each other, one imploringly the other, confounded.

He scratches his head...he curses the other two for drawing him into this. They cannot decide whether to trust me. He apologizes again to me, but he grabs me up, runs out to the car with me, opens the trunk and throws me in. I hear muffled arguments, they can’t trust me to be silent, they will drive somewhere and think about how to dispose of me, they are screaming at each other. No wonder I hate small enclosed spaces till this day. We drive, it seems hours again. “It’s so dark in here, walls closing in, can’t see, so hot, help me, help me. Can’t breathe, so dark. Mind sinking, sinking, now breathe, remember to breathe, deep breaths that’s it, don’t think, can’t think. I’m dying, I’m dying and I’m so young. It’s so black, I can’t see, panting. NO NO be still...don’t breathe, then I will die and this will be over. Why is this happening to me, let me out of here. Oh God, I’ve gone mad, help me.”

Finally when the car stops and open the trunk it is dark. We are in a grove of coconuts trees, still no moon, so dark. They open the trunk...I’m afraid to come out clawing at them. I hold out hope I can still talk them out of this. I sit up slowly, dazed and still in shock, I am crying again, I hate that I am crying and so weak and helpless, I BEG them again. “Please let me go, just leave me here and I will make up a story why I have been missing that will fool everyone, you will see.” Thinking of their own children now perhaps, and Gods wrath on judgment day (being Catholics) they relent. The younger one now says, “Ok we will leave you here. You must find your own way home”, he thrusts some money at me, “here, find someplace to eat, busfare whatever, and if we ever get wind of this, if your father and his men come for us...YOU WILL ALL DIE. All of your family from cousins to aunties, ALL will die, do you UNDERSTAND ME CHILD?”

I climb out of the trunk, I look him in his eyes, I swear I will not tell my parents or anyone ever, to myself, I swear they will pay to God for this. More curses are tossed at his brothers for getting him into this mess. He shoves the other two into the car before they can change their minds, as they were objecting to my release all along. They say I will destroy their lives, it was a mistake on their part, they were drunk they had no control, blah blah blah... “ No! The younger man screams to his brother, get in the car NOW”, which they reluctantly do. They drive away into the night. I am alone, I don’t know where I am.

They had thrown a sack out of the window when they left, I open it, in there a new shirt and pants to put on, they fit, a tender mercy.

I feel befouled. Humiliated beyond belief. The air feels thick with humidity, my skins is crawling, my face a frozen mask of defeat. I’m so broken. I feel broken all over. I begin to weep, my knees give out and I fall to the ground face down, I pound the dirt, all I feel is pain, and more pain. Please let me die. I’m cursing life, I’m cursing God again, I vow revenge upon them. I know hate. I am a child no more.

This is an interview I did about the experience in June of 2007 for Che Che Lazaro, for ABS/CBN Probe Team, National Filipino TV show.

Or view it directly from Probe TV site: http://www.probetv.com/index.php?option=com_probetv&view=video&layout=program&vi=775&Itemid=8

Here is a behind the scenes video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h8xiaX0KT5s

No Strings Attached

2008-07-24T08:28:00.006+08:00

My first big crossroad came when my parents took me to pay their respects to my aunty whose son was hit and killed by an automobile while he was riding his bicycle. I think I might have been about 15. All I remember are the pictures in my head still so vivid. It must have been soon after the incident, we were at the mortuary, his body had not yet been prepared.

I had to go to the bathroom, I followed the directions and wound up opening a door, alas, my eyes behold my cousins’ broken and bloody body, on a wooden table. Blood everywhere, his arms akimbo, broken, broken everywhere it seemed. I stood paralized and stunned in morbid fascination. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t take my eyes off this horror. It shocked me to see a thing which was only earlier human, alive and vibrant. I think this is the first time that death was made real to me. I thought “where are the strings attached that animate us”. He’s only meat now, a carcass, an empty shell. I thought perhaps we were marionettes, that somewhere someone was pulling the strings, but on closer inspection, no strings. How then is it that one moment we are here, and the next laid out like this on a wooden slab?

I was too shocked to cry at the time. Thoughts reeling through my head. Where do we go? How is that life can be so fleeting? Abet was only a teenager, maybe a year or two older than me. This too could happen to me. Where is the dignity in this? What is the purpose of living if we wind up as meat? The next time I see him, it is at the church in an open casket. I see down the corridor of church benches, a nice coffin sits on a stand. Flowers everywhere, cousins, aunties, uncles, all seated about.

I join my younger cousins in doing the stations of the cross. Perhaps out of nervousness we begin to giggle, perhaps something silly was said, I start to laugh, and laugh hysterically and then torrents of tears and my chest heaved and my breath was taken away by sob after sob, and it seemed I couldn’t stop crying.

Everyone is looking at me, I wasn’t so close to this cousin so they must be wondering what’s wrong with me. “Hysterical” I hear someone say, aunties move to console me, I press against my mother who is trying to console me. She says “ go say goodbye, you will feel better." I do, I stand in line to view his body. It’s been cleaned up, he looks peaceful now, but oh woe! I see ants crawling up his neck into his ear!!!! Tiny little ants!!!! Oh horrors! No longer human, only meat. This is the last straw, I grab my face as though it will explode without the confines of my palms pressed against my cheeks and begin weeping again. People think I am crying for Abet alone, yes I am for his life cut short, for all the days he will never see, for his family who will miss him, and for ME, that I too someday will die!!

I saw the impermanence of life. All that I do or say will be erased in one fell swoop at the end of MY life, which apparently could be whenever those strings attached break.This was the beginning of my rebellion against rules laid down by elders that didn’t make sense. All the more I wanted to know, why are we here? What is the meaning of life? Why do we follow blindly the dictates of society and culture only to be laid down upon a cold slab as cold dead meat? After that, when ever my parents asked something of me, I wanted to know why?

It must have driven them completely mad. My father and I would sometimes come to blows over my belligerence. He would tell my mom “tell YOUR daughter, this or that” as though he himself could not relate to me. My mother would say “you cannot force her, she will not comply without a fight”. I would not do one thing without trying to understand the underlying reason as though all things in life made sense, which I have learned that they do not. I was determined to go out fighting, kicking and screaming if only it helped me to understand why we are here.

This experience pressed me on to quest for answers. I would go to the church and pray to God to show me the meaning of life. To make my life worthwhile. Children my age stopped being of interest to me. I plunged into books on the occult, religious experiences of saints, the bible, trying to make sense of life. None of it made sense, too many dichotomies, compounded by the fact that I soon learned that not all people believed in Jesus. That there were indeed other religions with other Gods. Oh my! Will the real God please stand up.

No dictates for me, this stuff didn’t even make sense half the time. I stopped going to church. I would pray to the “unknown God”. This faceless being. No answers in my head clearly outlining my path, no blueprint for me. Alright then, I’ll make my own choices and live with the consequences later. Thus began my path into the adventures of a consious life. I’ll live for today and cry about it tomorrow.

Today, my truth is that God is in ME. That I am never away from God, and I cannot escape God. Whatever I do in my life, I talk directly to this inner being that animates me. This is the only God I know. I don’t seek God in churches or books, because I know that everything I see or am or do, is a part of God. Thus I cannot see where God is not.

Yes I know there are those in life who are what we call evil...I have personally been the victim of such people. Yet, I have found it in my heart and soul to forgive their transgressions because I have been able to overcome many more things in life BECAUSE of the strength I can now draw from those “BAD” experiences.